The Best Dad Jokes Ever

Dad Jokes:

Below are some of our favorite jokes to tell our kids, we hope you enjoy sharing with yours! Have a favorite of yours you want to share? Send it to us and we’ll showcase your name and joke on our site!

Joke Of The Month:

What did the tree say to autumn? Leaf me alone!

  • What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college – bye-son
  • You can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.
  • Which days are the strongest? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are week days.
  • I saw an ad that said “TV for Sale – $1. Volume stuck on full.” I thought: “I can’t turn that down.”
  • Shout out to my Grandpa. That’s the only way he can hear.
  • There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who can read binary and those who can’t.
  • RIP boiled water. You will be mist.
  • A big cat escaped from the zoo yesterday. If I saw that I’d puma pants.
  • What do you get hanging off banana trees? Sore arms.
  • There was a band in the ‘80s called Prevention. They were much better than The Cure.
  • Hostess asks “Do you have reservations” Dad says: “No. I’m confident I want to eat here.
  • What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle? Attire.
  • Can February March? No, but April May.
  • I gave all my dead batteries away today. Free of charge.
  • Did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.
  • I was going to tell a joke about dogs but it was a little far-fetched.
  • I sold my vacuum cleaner. It was just gathering dust.
  • What’s the best way to watch a fishing tournament? Live stream.
  • The rotation of the Earth really makes my day
  • My kid wants to invent a pencil with an eraser on each end. I just don’t see the point.
  • Son: “Dad, I’m hungry.” Dad: “Hi hungry, I’m Dad”
  • How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
  • What do you call a dinosaur with glasses? A doyouthinkitsawus (Do you think it saw us)
  • 5/4 of people admit they are bad with fractions
  • I went to the zoo and saw a baguette in a cage. The zookeeper said it was bread in captivity.
  • Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind its tearable.
  • I thought about going on an all-almond diet but that’s just nuts.
  • Why did the blind man fall in the well? Because he couldn’t see that well.
  • How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
  • Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.
  • I don’t often tell dad jokes, but when I do he laughs.
  • What kind of award did the dentist get? A little plaque.
  • What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye matey
0

Start typing and press Enter to search